Thursday, February 13, 2014

Did Your Dog Stink Up the Metro Bus?

Riding the Metro is usually a pleasant experience, as far as bus rides go. But sometimes it stinks. I’m not talking about the bus running late, or having to stand up all the way into town. I’m talking fresh-dog-doo-tracked-down-the-aisle stink.

Odd smells and edgy odors

Bus passengers come and go, and some of them leave odd smells behind. Sometimes it's just spicy food or lingering cigarette smoke. Other times it's an odor so edgy it can make you slip out of the plot of your novel and wonder what the…hmm. This time it was coming from the man who’d just stepped onto the bus, or perhaps his little boy.

The odor slapped me in the face as the two of them fed the fare-box. It assaulted me in waves as they passed my seat and walked down the aisle. I heard fabric rustle, purses snap, and psst, psst, as a few ladies spritzed cologne into the air. I dabbed hand sanitizer under my nose. It was all that I had.

The guy really didn't know

A few stops later the man called out, “I’m sorry,” to everyone on the bus. The boy was deep into a giggling fit by then, but the man really did look sorry. “I stepped in some dog s___,"  he said. "I didn't know...," he muttered as he wiped and wiped. "I was just trying to catch the bus.”

The man stood up and I got a good look at the soft brown lumps on the top of his shoe and the flattened brown blobs on the bottom. “How in the world did it get on the top of your shoe?” someone asked. I wondered that myself, but the guy couldn't explain it.

Doggie doo and perfume

A woman offered tissues. A man pointed out the smelly brown foot prints along the aisle. As the guy cleaned his shoe, a few ladies sprayed more cologne, the boy continued his giggling, and I kept thinking how the bus smelled like that because somebody didn't clean up after his dog.

Despite the wiping and the spraying, the smell stood its ground. The driver called for a new bus, and when he pulled to the curb to make the switch, we rushed to exit quickly. The lady in front of me hadn't a clue what happened until I told her. “I was wondering why the bus smelled like perfume and s___,” she said.

Nuff said. Just clean up after your dogs!

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